BEHOLD!!! BURPEES!!!!!!

To get the fullest effect of this blog post, please start the music video first, and then continue reading.

BURPEES!  My friend Katie thought it was cute when I talked about burpees.  All she would think of when she heard "burpee" was a little kid burping. She obviously never had done a burpee then.  Those of us who have had the privilege of doing a burpee know that in no way is it a cute little child burp but something sent from hell to make grown men cry.

What is a burpee, you ask.  See below.

Looks easy enough, right?  Laying down and then jumping up.  I did this all the time as a kid.  No problem, right?  WRONG!  Get up, and do 10.  It's okay, I will wait.  Go ahead.  DO IT.

The music helped, right?

I do not like burpees.  My almost 6-foot body does not like doing them. Give me wall balls any day. The thing I am realizing is that the more I do burpees, the stronger I get. HOW DARE THEY DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ME!

I remember the first class when they had burpees on the white board.  I cried.  Really, there were tears.  I could not even do one.  Not a single burpee.  I was good at the laying on the floor part.

They are still the bane of my existence, but here is the exciting thing.  I can do them now. Today in my WOD, I rocked out 10.  They were not RX or pretty, but they got done.  I couldn't breath after. But guess what? I did them!  I had some great people from CFR cheering me on and pushing me to crank out those last 10.  Why? Because if I took too long, I had to do more clean squats. I had already done over 50.  So I pushed and did them!

So, here's the moral of the story. Everyone has something they hate doing when they enter the gym. And, a lot of times that is the thing that will make you stronger. Keep working hard and pushing through.  Burpees are my weakness.  But if I do them enough, I will find another weakness, and then maybe burpees and I can have a civil relationship.

Do you love Burpees?  What is the thing you love to hate, but see improvement on?

When The Going Gets Tough

I've had a lot on my mind lately. I work for a great company, but I am feeling very under utilized right now. I feel like I am not living up to my potential.  I am not really doing something that makes me feel fulfilled, and I think someone with a bachelor degree is overqualified for what I do.  I know there are people with degrees in my department, but they are in leadership roles. Or they are, like me, desperate for a job right now.  It also does not look like many leadership positions will be opening anytime soon.  They keep telling me to have patience, because there is potential to move up. But I have been hearing this for a while, and to be honest, I am really not excited to move up within the accounts receivable department.  I have great bosses and love the people I work with, but that doesn't mean I will feel fulfilled and doing what makes me happy.

Some say just be grateful you have a job.  Others say you need to live your dream and take risks.  I want to work with people, help people. I love training.  I need variety in my work. I really don't want to be stuck behind a desk all day. I have considered going back to school to become a PTA (Physical Therapy Assistant). I would be helping people. It would be new things daily. I think I would love it.  The thought of going back to school, though, overwhelms and angers me.  I've done school! I have a degree! I already have a ton of student loans that I cannot pay off, because we are considered way below the poverty line.  I just feel... stuck.

So how does all of this relate to fitness?  Just wait. It is coming.

I have seen a pattern in my life.  Right now, I am considering looking for other positions at my place of employment or even looking for work at other places.  I have to make more money. Things are tight. And no... I do not want to sell your wraps, bags or tea tree oil, so please don't ask.  In looking for another job within my work or outside, I fear rejection and failure. So I don't follow through. I start feeling safe and complacent again in what I do. I'm not happy, but I am not stretching myself and putting myself out there.  I am not living up to my ultimate career potential. I have grown comfortable in what I am doing now.

At first, I will get motivated and start searching for a job or reading a job description at where I am now. I will not find anything I am interested in or be qualified for and get discouraged.  I will read the job description of something I might be qualified for, and I will start doubting if I can do it. Of course, I can do the job. I finished college!  I lived in Southern California, learned Spanish and knocked on doors for two years!  I finished a marathon!  Yeah, I can do it.  But why do I doubt myself?  Why do I not want to grow?  Do I fear my own potential?

I have started seeing this same pattern in my fitness journey.  In running or CrossFit, you are always striving to push yourself a little farther and a little longer.  It never gets easy; you just keep increasing your intensity and weight.  You keep pushing to grow.  I find that my intensity might not be my best every time.  I might see the WOD and start telling myself, "Don't push yourself; just take it easy."  My mind tells me that I am fat and that I can't do it.  Put the weight down. Just walk.  I don't push myself to my maximum potential in that workout.  I know I can go farther and longer, because I have done it before. I am not strong mentally.

I will get motivated at the start of a workout, and as it goes, I start thinking, "This sucks. I hurt... Why am I doing this? I am last again! I will never be at the same level as everyone else."  I do feel good at the end of the workout, and I don't slack off every time. But there are times when I will not do those last 3 reps or will mentally give up in the workout, and it is discouraging. Finishing the workout always feels better. Some of my biggest highs have been after I ran the full 5 miles on the training run or after I did the whole set unbroken.  So yeah, I can do it, but why do I doubt myself? Why do I prevent myself from growing? Do I fear my own potential?

So how do I change and fix this?  How does someone toughen up mentally and step up to their life and fitness potential?

I am not a pro at this.  I am asking you.  How do I do it? I am going to really strive to be better in my professional and physical life. I am going to hold my head high and live up to my potential.  I think the key is just to do it. Keep moving forward. Realize your weaknesses and ask for help when needed.  I am going to try to be better.

Constantly Humbled

Hi...

I know, I know... It has been over a year.  I have been a slacker.  I have no excuses on why I have not been blogging.  I stopped being healthy.  I felt like I was letting myself and others down, so I stopped blogging.  I stopped being excited about the healthy lifestyle choices I had made.

Last March during my marathon, I injured my foot. I shouldn't have run the race but did it anyway.  It took me over 8 hours to finish. I ended up walking the last 12 miles, because my foot hurt so bad.  I was ashamed and embarrassed.  I should not have been, but I was.  I did something amazing.  I took some time off to let my foot heal.  Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and the next thing I knew, the weight was back.  I wasn't running or doing anything healthy.  I was back to video games and eating whatever, whenever. I had to start getting all my fat clothes back out.  Then I had to buy some more clothes.  I was more embarrassed and ashamed.

I knew something had to change again.  I was depressed and out of control. This year, I started doing stand-up and improv.  I love it.  It was something I loved doing and made many friends.  I still wasn't healthy.  I started having anxiety attacks and some deep depression.  I knew what I needed to do.  I tried to start running again, but that embarrassment and shame came flooding back because of how far back I had gone.  It was just like starting over again.  I stopped going after only a few times, because I couldn't do what I did before.

I knew I needed to do SOMETHING.  So usually when I get a wild idea, I post it on Facebook.  I posted, "Hey! I am thinking about doing CrossFit. What does everyone think about it?!"  The response was overwhelming.  So many of my friends do CrossFit and LOVE it. Many of my running friends had great things to say about it as well.  I found out that one of the CrossFit gyms (Box) was right across the street from my work. So that next day, I went over and checked it out after work.

I had never seen anything like it. It was a huge garage/warehouse, like the kind you find in strip malls.  Ropes and rings were hanging from the ceiling.  There were rows of pull up bars and several plyometric boxes stacked up. Large tractor tires in the back. Lots of kettlebells. The only thing I really recognized were the squat racks and barbells. I was overwhelmed.  One of the owners, Mel, saw me and introduced himself.  He had one of the other coaches take over the WOD (workout of the day) and took the time to show me around and talk to me about what to expect. One of the nicest guys you would ever meet.  He made me feel at home and really encouraged me to give it a try.

Coach Mel Killing Double Unders

I signed up for the beginner's class and started the beginning of April.  My first WOD was on a Saturday. It was an intro class. The WOD was small and simple, and I thought I was going to die.  It was 3 rounds of 15 air squats, 12 deadlifts and 9 kettlebell swings.  I had to stop and scale.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I was so sore, but I was excited to keep doing it.

Jeremy was our CrossFit beginner's coach.  He is built like an action figure. I am not going to lie.  I was intimidated but instantly put at ease.  He took the time to explain what CrossFit is and how it could help me in all aspects of my life.  He wanted us to know how to do the movements so we prevented injury.  The class was designed so that someone just starting didn't feel overwhelmed by all the lingo and movements. By the end of the first month, I made several friends and felt confident that I could do it and join the regular WOD group.  I had to scale down a lot of the workouts. I still have to, but that is okay.

Coach Jeremy M

Me and Coach Jeremy

I was working out in the normal WOD class three days a week at CrossFit Springfield East and loved it.  Loved the coaches, loved the people.  I wanted to somehow share this with my wife.  Mel said she could come and do a workout with me for free to try it.  Jenn loved it!  We really wanted to do this together, but it was such a long drive for Jenn to take everyday.  It didn't sound possible.  When I got home that night, I saw some people talking about a new CrossFit opening in Republic!  The next day, I went in to check it out and found out that two of the owners were people I had become friends with at CrossFit East, Deena and Joe!  Deena showed me around and invited us to come try a WOD that next day.

It turned out to be perfect for Jenn and me.  The facility is on my way home from work.  It is super close to our house, AND a class starts at 5:30 with childcare provided. So we would have time to meet after work and not have to worry about the kids!  It broke my heart to leave CFSE because of Mel and all the amazing people I met there, but it was so important for Jenn and I to do this together.  So we signed up that next day and have loved it ever since.  We go 4 times a week!

CrossFit Republic

The owners of CrossFit Republic are great!  I love the classes, because almost everyone there are beginners as well.  We are all learning and growing together in something amazing.  Seeing the friendships grow through blood, sweat and tears has been a lot of fun.  A big thank you goes out to the owners Macy, Jen, Joe and Deena. You are all amazing, and I love to see how CFR is growing! We feel at home and hope to see several more months and years at CFR.

It has almost been 3 months since I started doing CrossFit.  I have not missed a week, and I can feel myself getting stronger. I have a long way to go. I am not eating as healthy as I can, but I am really working on it now. I know the weight will keep coming off, and I will keep getting stronger. I want to start running again soon as well.  It might be another month or two, though.  I don't want to overdo it.

Jenn has taken to CrossFit like a fish to water. Everyone tells her how graceful her movements are. She works hard and pushes herself, and it is so much fun to be doing this with her. We help keep each other accountable, and we are setting an example to our kids as well.

Something I have noticed in all the fitness communities I have been privileged to be apart of is that everyone is so encouraging.  When I was running, people always encouraged me and cheered me on, even if I was the last one coming in. Nixa Running Group is an amazing group of people, and they will always have a special place in my heart.  I hope to be out there running with them again. When I was doing bootcamp at the Meyer Center, I made several friends, and they wanted me to do well and cheered me on.  CrossFit is no different. I am the slowest and last one getting done everyday.  I am super impressed on how everyone there works so hard and do so well during the workout. They inspire me. Something they do that humbles me everyday is that while I am finishing, they cheer me on.  They will run that last 400 meters with me.  They are there encouraging me, pushing me, telling me I can do it.  When I do finish, they clap and tell me I did a great job.  It makes me feel special and important.  I want to do that for them while they are finishing, because they are inspiring me. I am constantly humbled by the people around me. I hope to be like them as well.

I can say that I am a happier person again.  I missed working out and love feeling strong and healthy.

So Far, Sooooo Good... Sort of.

The bodybuilding program I am currently doing is very, very hard but even that much more rewarding. The workouts have been extra tough for me. I am doing exercises I have either never done before or not done in a very long time. It's a very intense regimen, but I am already seeing amazing results. The definition in my calves has never been better for me. I feel more fit in general, and I have lost 10 lbs. so far!

Even though the workouts are tough, what's been the toughest thing for me is resisting foods I love that I cannot eat. For example, yesterday our family went to my parents' house for dinner. The menu was beef stroganoff with strawberries, oriental salad, rolls, and brownies and ice cream for dessert. I ate at the table with my seasoned talapia while everyone else was able to gorge down the really yummy stuff. No way I would have skipped dessert if I didn't hide downstairs with my brother and play some games. It was rough. The diet I am on right now is very strict and structured, which I believe will help me in the long run. I need that discipline.

Things are going great.  I am excited to post week 2 pictures soon.

Week 1 in the books!

I did it.  I completed week 1 of my new program.  It has been good.  I have been very disciplined with my food and have completed all my workouts. I can already seen a big difference in my arms and legs. I am loving it.

I have a weigh in on Monday and I will take another photo.  Feeling buff!!

One Day Down

Good morning, everyone!

So, I survived Day 1 of the Kris Gethin 12-week program. It feels good to accomplish that day, and I am excited to move forward and complete the rest. It's a life style adjustment, and it's been tough, but I know it will get easier as I go along.

I completed all the program exercises for today (including cardio) and took all of the appropriate supplements and food portions. I'm really putting every effort in this to make sure I get it right. I want to lose some serious fat and gain muscle. I really want this to be a success for me. Your positive words and encouragement really help me. Thank you.

Below is a "before" picture. I'm not sure yet how often I will post pics throughout this program, but I will show you my progress. Thanks again for your support!

I'm BACK!

I am back.  I hope you all have not given up on me.

Life has had its ups and downs.  I have been unemployed, injured and depressed.  I also finished a marathon.  So like I said, ups and downs.

I will write about my marathon sometime this week.  I did finish but it was the hardest thing I have ever done and I will for sure do another one someday, but right now I need to focus healing my foot and losing weight.

I am very excited to say that I am starting a new program TODAY.  I just got back from Anytime Fitness and had a kick butt leg workout today.  I am doing the Kris Gethin 12 week transformation program.  I am focusing on putting on some muscle and losing some serious fat. 

After my marathon and I really started going down hill on my food choices and I had gained some weight back.  I am at 273.6.  Very depressing, but I am going to look forward and burn this fat off. 

Before pics will be posted soon.