Before and After 8-31-11

It has been 8 months since I started my weight loss journey.  A lot of people have asked me what I have done or how I started.  The biggest advice I can tell people is just get up and do it.  Find a way to be accountable.  Tell everyone and show everyone that you are doing it.  It is not easy, and heaven knows that I have wanted to quit so many times.  Eight months is a long time, and I have come a long way, but it has been so rewarding! I will weigh in tomorrow morning, and I am excited to see how far I have come.  Jenn took some pics of me today. 

Pretty freaking cool seeing them like this!  I cannot wait to keep going and get closer to my goal!

Here are some pics of my amazing wife.  She ran 101 miles this month!  She is a rock star!

One more of me..  Just for fun!

You Are Only As Strong As You Decide To Be

I have talked a lot about how mental running is.  It is so true.  I may start doubting my ability; I do not run the run I knew I could.  I might see how many miles I am supposed to run and think I cannot do it, and I don't.

The great thing about our minds is that it works the other way.  When I decide to have a great run, I do.  When I decide to finish the whole run, I do.  You are only as strong as you decide to be.  We all have the tendency to say we cannot do something or put limits on ourselves.  Our potential is limitless.  We can always do more than what we think.  I was able to run the first mile today a whole lot faster than I normally do.  I set that goal to do that today.  I ran two miles without stopping, but then I got in my head and thought, "I need to walk."  So, I walked.  I finished my route faster than I have before, but I still didn't finish as strong as I hoped.

I need to get out of my head in a negative way, just do my best, and be as good as I know I can be.  Anyone can do this!  This is also in any aspect of life, not just running.  Set goals and work towards them.  Shake off the bad, and rock the good.  We are all athletes; some of us are in training.  No excuses!  Another motivational sentence here!  lol 

You all rock!

It Started Off Good

I woke up this morning feeling rested and ready for my run.  Felt really strong the first 2.5 miles and had to walk a little up a steep hill.  When I walked, my tummy decided it didn't like me.  The last two miles were stop and go.  I was able to get to a Casey's with a half a mile left.  Nothing is more frustrating than when I am having the run of my life, my legs feel strong, and my breathing is great, and then my stomach decides to "stink up" the run.  To much info... Sorry.

I am excited to see what I can do on Wednesday.  I know the route, and I am going to push myself and see if I can get the full 4-5 miles in.  I really felt like I could've done that today.  Love bettering myself and pushing myself.  I ran with a good group of people today.  We had someone new (forgot his name.. sorry), but he ran the first mile with me and rocked it!  I am sure he will be back out there again! 

I love the running community and how everyone is there to help each other!  Come run with us! 

My Wife, The Rock Star

My wife ran 13 miles this weekend.  That is the farthest she has ever gone, and she did it in 2 hours.  Pretty dang good for someone who started running March of this year.  I love my wife so much, and I will brag about her any day!  Just last week she put in over 30 miles (most of them alone) and rocked a long run with some good friends from Nixa.  She is my inspiration, and she will continue to amaze me! 

I have 4 months to become ready for the National Guard.  This is a goal I have set for myself.  I am going to start doing more push-ups and sit-ups at night.  I have to be able to run 2 miles in 17:30.  So I have to become faster.  I also need to lose about 40 lbs.  So these next 4 months are going to be fun!  I will be ready for boot camp!

Smile!! It Confuses People

Today, I am having a skinny day.  As in I feel skinner than I have in over 13 years.  I am wearing just an XL shirt and 38 pants.  Big difference than a 3XL and 44 pants.  I also had some great news from my doctor yesterday.  Nine months ago, my doctor said I might need to start taking some meds for my cholesterol and triglycerides.  They were way out of control.  He wanted me to come back in three months and check them again.  In between that time period, I had started working out and running.  They were still bad but getting better.  The doc wanted me to come back in 6 months.  Last week was my 6 month check-up, and the results came back yesterday. Every thing is normal and looks good.  No more issues with my cholesterol or triglycerides!  No need for meds!  Life is good!

I have 8 miles planned in the morning.  I am looking forward to the run.  I have been kicking my butt this week and getting all my workouts and runs in.  It feels great to be back at it and working hard! 

I also talked to the recruiter for the National Guard yesterday.  He told me to lose about 40 more pounds, and then we will talk again.  That was expected.  I am going to work my butt off, and I am hoping by January I will be able to start the process.  That will put me at 200 lbs!  A year ago, if you would've told me I would be thinking about the National Guard and looking at 200 lbs, I would've laughed at you. 

Three Things Thursday

I have not done a Three Things Thursday in a while and thought it would be fun to do today.

1. I only ran 2.5 miles this morning.  I took it easy and tried to save a little energy for my morning boot camp.  The run felt really good, and the hills kicked my butt.  Then boot camp was nice.  I had not participated in a few weeks, and a lot of people said they missed me and were glad I was back.  That is always nice.

2.  I have not been able to get a full week of workouts in since the week of the 4th of July.  I have been on and off sick for that long.  I am so grateful/hopeful that this thing has been taken care of. The meds have been tearing up my stomach, but it is a lot better than having Giardia.  Just want this to be done.  After my run on Saturday, I will have put in 25 miles this week! 

3. The locker room at the fitness center is so awkward.  There are a bunch of old guys walking around buck naked like it's nothing.  They will stand a foot from each other and have 15 minute conversations in nothing but their birthday suit.  I don't know what it is like in the lady's locker room, but it can get very odd in the male locker room.  I get in, shower, and get out of there in good time.  I am not able to have naked time with a bunch of 60-year-old dudes.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!  WE ARE ONE DAY CLOSER TO FRIDAY!

What are your awkward locker room stories? 

I Get What I Put Into It

Four in the morning came really quick this morning.  I did not want to get up; I did not want to run.  I knew that if I didn't I would be mad at myself.  So I forced myself out of bed and started putting on my running gear.  On the days I don't want to work out, I just force myself into autopilot and start getting ready.  I was really tired this morning, because I went to a 7:15 boot camp some of the Nixa runners do on Tuesday and Thursday nights.  They let their kids run around while they workout.  My kids had a lot of fun. Jenn and I kicked our butts at the boot camp.  So needless to say, my legs did not show up for the run today.  They were still in bed. I was not able to run that long.  I tried switching to a 1-1 and even then at mile two, I just had to walk.  I walked a mile and made my way back in for a little over 4 miles this morning.

While I was running and walking this morning, I really started beating myself up.  A lot of negative thinking.  Thinking about how I will never be able to do this.  I am not strong enough physically and mentally.  I was still a mile away from being done and someone from the group drove by going home.  I started getting mad, mad that I was so far behind and so slow.  I was all alone today, because I could not stay with a group.  As you can tell, it was a downward spiral.  I had to really snap myself out of it.  I was up doing something that most people wouldn't even imagine or plan on doing "someday" but never do.

This is a process, and I get what I put in.  I know a guy at my size usually cannot just get up and run and run for distances.  I am still overweight.  I am still not where I need to be, but I am making my way there.  I need to toughen up mentally.  Learn to push my doubts out and focus on the positive.  Not give up and just run.  I want to be able to do the long distances without having to walk all the time.  I know there is nothing wrong with it and a lot of people train that way, but for me and my goals, I dream of just being able to run.  Run long and enjoy it.  I am dealing with almost 30 years worth of bad habits and self-doubt.  I am still learning who I am and who I can be.  I am changing the way I am and the way I think.  I am not a loser. I am a strong person, and I will be able to run long and enjoy it. 

Through my hard run today, I learned a lot about myself and who I can be.  The Chris with self-doubt and low self-esteem will still haunt me, but it will not define me anymore.

4.5 Miles and No More TV

I am excited to get a full week's worth of running and workouts.  It has been too long!  We ran 4.5 miles this morning.  We got a little lost at times, but we rocked it.  Had a lot of fun with Trisha the first mile.  She has just started running and did a great job today!  She will be running with the pros in no time.  Then, I finished the run with Paula.  We are both coming back from a week off from sickness, and we both pushed each other.  It is nice to have people to run with.  The last mile of my run felt the best.  I sped up and really enjoyed the last little part of my run.  Love days like that.

Some of the people from my running group does a boot camp at night, and I think Jenn and I are going to go and let the kids run around while we work out.  I think it will be a lot of fun.

So I have a new goal.  At night after dinner, I turn into a couch potato.  I am going to start limiting my TV watching, and I am going start reading more.  Jenn and I are talking about canceling our DishNetwork this October when our two year contract is up.  I think it will be a blessing for us.  Who really needs TV?  I bought 4 books and borrowed a few others from my dad.  I think I am set!

Have you ever given up TV?  How hard was it?

Great Weekend, Great Run

I am back in the saddle and running again.  Jenn and I had 24 hours of no children, so she was able to run with me when we did our 8 miles.  She did an extra two after.  It was fun to run and talk with her.  We have never ran together like that before.  We were going about half her pace, but she said she just enjoyed being with me.  I felt really good on my 8 miler.  Zoe and a few other people said I really need to consider dropping to the half marathon because of some of the training runs I have missed due to illness.  So we will see what I end up doing. 

Jenn and I had a really fun weekend. We went out to eat, saw Captain America (great movie!) and just enjoyed each other's company.  We needed it.  Before our movie, I saw some recruiters for the National Guard and thought I would talk to them.  Tell them thanks for the service they have done for our country.  I got to talking to them and really started considering joining.  I never thought about doing it, because I have always thought I was too fat.  I expressed that to them, and I come to find out I really only need to lose about 40 more pounds to qualify.  So I am really considering it.  Anyone have any experience with the National Guard?

I woke up this morning and did 3.5 miles with Jeff.  It was a good run.  We talked a lot about the marathon.  He is a bigger guy and had some things for me to think about from a bigger guy's point of view.  He has done several half marathons and one full.  I have some time to think about it.  I am just going to run, have fun and go from there.

How was your weekend?

The Week That Drove Me Crazy

Nixa Running has a group page on Facebook.  I see everyone post about how great their run was throughout the week.  I see where they are planning on running in the morning.  I am just itching to get out there and run.  I almost just went this morning, but I forced myself to stay in bed.  I really woke up at 4 and thought, "Time to run."  Just one more day...  This week is driving me crazy!

Jenn and I are getting the chance to run together this Saturday morning.  She is running with my Galloway group.  She could run with the fastest group, but she wanted to stick back with me.  I am excited to run with her.  The reason we are getting to run together is because my parents are taking the kids Friday night all the way to Saturday night.  We get a whole 24 hours to ourselves.  I am VERY excited.  We are trying to plan cheap and fun things to do.

Any ideas for cheap, fun, kid-free activities? 

First Day of School

Today is my son Micah's first day of school.  It is amazing how fast they grow up.  I am excited for him.  At the same time, I know what public school is like and hope that he is going to make friends, that he won't be bullied or bully people. I hope he makes good choices.  Good luck and have fun buddy!

On a side note, I wanted to kill him last night.  Jenn was working on some arts and crafts with the kids, and he picked up Jenn's scissors and cut a big chunk of hair off the top of his head.  Right before his first day of school.  We are hoping school pictures will not be until next week. 

I am taking a week off from running.  I have been getting sick and still training.  I have wondered why I wasn't getting healthy.  So instead of running and working out and not getting healthy, I am taking this week off.  Getting healthy.  Then refocusing on the rest of the week.  I am really trying to watch what I eat the rest of this week just to keep with my weight loss goals.  It has been hard, because I have wanted to go run, but I know this will help me in the long run...  Get it...  Long run.. 

It's Back.....

Sorry, I have been a little MIA in the blogging world.  I am tired of blogging about being sick and not being able to run.  I don't enjoy reading blogs where it's "I am always sick..." and now it feels like I am turning into that blog.

I wasn't able to finish my 17 miles on Saturday.  I started feeling sick at mile 4, pushed until I was at 11, and then couldn't finish.  I felt sick the rest of the day.  On Sunday, I had all my old symptoms back from my good friend Giardia.  I didn't go to work on Monday and stayed home feeling like garbage all day.  I called my doctor, and he doubled my antibiotics and told me it should do the trick.  Guess if you don't kill it completely it will stay with you and wait 2-3 weeks to make your life hell again when you least expect it.

So I guess on a good note, it wasn't just because I was weak that I couldn't finish my run. I was legitimately sick again.  I really hope to kill this stupid parasite and move on with my fitness goals. 

Sorry for the constant "I am sick" blog posts. I really don't like being sick. I promise. 

I Can Go The Distance

I have always really liked Disney's Hercules.  I know it comes nowhere close to the actual Greek mythology, but I have loved the story and message.  I know what Hercules felt like.  He felt like he had so much potential and was destined for something great but also felt like a nobody or a loser.  We all have great potential, and we can all relate to Hercules, knowing there is something great for us but maybe feeling down and depressed.  Like Hercules, it is our job to get up, go out, and realize our potential and go the distance.

I have been thinking about the 17 miles I am running Saturday morning and inadvertently started singing “Go the Distance” from the movie.  I have been doubting if I can go that far and if I am ready for it, but then I remembered all the hard work I have put in the last 7+ months.  I can go the distance. 

I used to wake up at 7:10 in the morning and make it out the door for work to be 5-10 minutes late.  I would sit at my desk and HATE every moment I was there.  I was not a fun person to be around.  I would rush home, eat a quick dinner, and plant myself in front of my computer and play games until 1-2 in the morning.  I could not understand why I wasn’t happy.  I did make good friends online, and I am still friends with them today, but I wasn’t taking care of myself physically.  I was depressed, and I wanted to be happy; I wanted something more in my life but didn’t think I deserved it. 

I had a wake up call.  I bought two shirts and a pair of pants that were bigger than I have ever bought, sizes 3XL and 46 waist.  It made me depressed, and what did I do when I was depressed? I ate.  You can get the picture. Not long after that, I saw a video of Ben Davis losing 120 pounds and changing his life.  He did it by running.  He went through a lot of what I was going through.  If he could do it, I could as well.  So I started planning.  I had my moment when I realized I could do this.  I wanted my family to be proud of me.

For Christmas, I received a scale, some running shoes and some workout clothes, and I started the Couch to 5K program. It was one of the hardest things I did.  That next week, I got blisters on both of my feet.  I wanted to quit.  My grandpa Ron that weekend passed away from health related issues.  I am built a lot like him.  That was another wake up call.  I promised him that I would not quit and that I would keep going. 

It has been 7 months and 12 days, and I have not quit.  I have had highs and lows.  Like Hercules, I have had to face many foes along this path.  I have also gained many allies.  My wife is WAY hotter than Meg. I should know; Meg hit on me once at Disney World.  I am going the distance. I have lost over 80 lbs.  I have 40-50 more to go.  I am training for a marathon! Before, I couldn’t run down my street.  I put the Glad in Gladiator…  Yeah, that’s right! 

Now is the time to stand up and go the distance.  It might not be the 17 miles I have in the morning. It might be running down to the end of your street.  I know it is just as daunting, but you can do it! 

Hot Flashes

I am trying to put a positive spin on this..  I have been getting sick the last two months and it has been really frustrating!  I spent most of the last 36 hours sweating like I was working out or wrapped up in blankets because I was freezing.  Not the funnest thing I have ever been through!

I posted my frustrations about it on Facebook yesterday and people were giving me good advice and tips on what I can do.  Then one of my friends asked me if I was going through menopause!  I needed to have a good laugh from that! To make it better, when I called my doctor he told me to take a prenatal vitamin to help me from getting sick.  So not only am I going through menopause, I am taking a prenatal.  So there you go.  Funny stuff.

I hope I feel better by tonight so I can go run.  I need to get my miles in this week.  I have 17 planned for this Saturday!  Kind of nervous, that is the furthest I have ever gone.  Wish me luck! 

Weird Random Dream

I have been thinking a lot about my goals with running.  I think it would be great to do a half Ironman in 2013.  That is my goal.  Some of the bloggers I follow have just completed their Ironman races.  When I read there recaps, it makes me really excited about the races.

So, random dream last night.  I needed to fix my bike, and I was supposed to meet one of my friends to have him work on it.  I was sitting outside with my bike, waiting for him to show up.  In my dream, Beth from Shut Up and Run rode by me on her bike, and she stopped and told me I needed a better bike or I will never be an Ironman.  Then, she gave me her bike and told me to use it well.   Then she said, "It is a good day to run."  Then she ran off.

So random!  I emailed her and told her about it.  She said she laughed out loud from it.  Love reading her blog, you should all check it out and follow if you do not already!

Have you ever had a weird random dream about training or running?  Did it include someone from a blog you follow? 

You Got This, Push Through It!

Have you ever woke up every hour on the hour, because you were excited about your run in the morning and didn't want to sleep in?  That was me last night.  I am so tired!  I said to myself, "Self, you are going to have an amazing run today!"  So guess what?  I did.  I ran about 1.4 miles with some amazing people, but I psyched myself out, stopped and walked.  I was frustrated with myself, because I wanted to do better.  It was right then I said, "Just RUN! GO!"  So I did.  I really focused on my breathing and my technique.  Two breaths in through my nose, and then exhale.  While I was inhaling, I would say, "You got this." When I was exhaling, I would say, "Push through it."  I kept breathing and saying that over and over again.  I would get to the next stop light and think I was going to stop, but I pushed through.  I would focus on the next stop light and make it and keep going.  It was such a great feeling!  I was able to run the rest of the way in! 

4.3 miles at a 14 min pace.  It is slow, but I am at least doing it.  I am out there going and pushing myself.  I then went to boot camp, and that was a killer workout.  I wasn't able to do all the sets because of how hard I pushed myself on my run.  I love being in shape and fit!  Remember to work hard and reach your goals!

My goal Wednesday is to run the whole thing.  I am strong enough, and I know I can do it; I just beat myself mentally. 

How did you all get past those mental hurdles?  I think I limit myself in my head.  Not sure how to get past that.

My Mental Hurdles

Boom Goes the Dynamite

We had a lot of fun this weekend.  Jenn and I both got our long runs in.  I did 6 Saturday morning, and she did 8 that night.  We are both still sore.  That afternoon, we went to the fair with the kids and saw the cows and pigs.  Micah and Paige had a lot of fun.  I bet we walked another 2+ miles at the fair that day. 

Sunday was a lot of fun; we had our OMRR picnic.  They had it catered with some really good BBQ. They also had a raffle. (We won two shirts!)  They also had a fun run.  You guessed your time and the closest to their time won.  Micah said he wanted to do it.  It was a mile run and pretty much everyone got a medal.  It was in the middle of the day and HOT.  Micah got about a half mile into it and and said he had enough.  He cried and screamed the rest of the way in.  It was very embarrassing, but we wanted to make sure he finished something he started.  So we crossed the finish line, tears and all.  That is when he realized everyone was watching him and chuckling.  He turned bright red and sprinted off and hid behind a tree and started crying.  He didn't even wait to get his medal.  I picked it up for him and walked over and gave him a hug. I told him good job and that I was proud he finished the race. I then showed him his medal.  It was like nothing happened.  He put that thing on and showed it to everyone.  He even posed for a photo.  (Thanks, Shannon!)  He also got third place on the timed portion for guessing so close to his time.


Shannon C. took the photo

 Sunday was a fun, relaxing day!

This morning, I woke up ready to go run.  I was getting off the freeway, and lighting struck a building right next to my route. So needless to say, I ran inside.  I forgot how much I didn't like it. I get so bored and really start thinking about the miles and not the run.  I do not know how people do it everyday.

It is Monday...  I hope everyone has a great day!

Has your kid ever had a meltdown in front of a group of people?  How did you handle it? 

Life Is Full of Crossroads

Life is full of crossroads. Have you ever felt like you are standing there, looking down all the paths you could take?  How overwhelming it could be!  That is what I am feeling right now.  I know some of these options are things that I am not even going to consider, or if I do, it is only for a split second.  The part that makes me nervous/anxious is what is the best road to take.  The road that will be best for me and my family.  I want to do what is best for them in the long run.  I want to continue to better myself daily and still feel like I have a long way to go.

I still come home from work and just don't want to do anything.  I want to relax, but should I get another job, how can I help my wife, should we sign our kids up for extra activities?  These are things that I need to improve on.  I need to better myself with our money management.  I spent way too much last month on food that I didn't need to go get.  I did, because I was selfish and wanted to eat when I wanted to eat.

Just really feel like I am standing at that crossroads right now, and I want to make the best choice for me and my family.  I want to continue being as healthy as I can and being the best husband/father I can be.  I want to be the support to my family I know I can be.  I know that it involves putting down the remote control and not spending the whole night online.  I am as overwhelmed at the thought as I was when I quit WOW.  Maybe that is telling me something.

Sorry for the rambling of this post.  Just have a lot on my mind.  I want to be the best I can be, and sometimes it hurts to make these realizations.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

I have 7 miles planned on Saturday morning.  Then we are going to the fair with the kiddos and my mom.  We will have a good day Saturday.

Hills, Gotta Love 'Em

Today was hills.  I have done hills with the group before, and it was hard. But today, we ran down Plainview.  For those of you who live in Springfield and know the road Plainview, you know what we did today.  I only did 4 miles, and I think most everyone else did 5.  You can see what we did HERE.  I went to Scenic and back to Campbell.  I think everyone else went to FR 135.  Check out those hills! 

I arrived at the meeting place while everyone was starting, so I was a little behind to start with.  I was strong the first mile and was able to maintain my pace, even up the hills.  It was hot, but the little rain did help at first, and then it just became super humid.  You could see the steam coming off the road when cars were driving by.  I almost took my shirt off, but I didn't want to embarrass all the other guys with my amazing ab...  My goal was to always start running up the hill, but some of them were very hard, and I would have to walk up most of them.  It wasn't my best time, but it was a good run.  The only way to get better at hills is to run hills. 

I cannot say how much I appreciate all of your kind words and encouragement the last few weeks.  It has been a very rough time.  I am still not out of it, but I am feeling better and working hard again.  It is good to have goals.  I am so very grateful for Nixa Running.  I was trucking up one of the hills and while people were coming back and passing me, everyone told me good job.  I need that, and it helps me stay motivated.  They are all my examples and heroes.  They are out there doing it!  I am just out there trying, but someday I will get there.

I am also very grateful for the running blogging community.  I have made a lot of great friends, and they have been very inspirational and always ready to give advice. 

Keep working hard.  It is amazing what a good workout and kind words can do for someone.  I worked out for 1hr 45min this morning and burned over 1000 calories.  That's how you start your day!

Hate... Hate Missing My Run

Okay...  Something has got to change.  Since I was sick, I have missed runs, and I have not been able to control my eating.  I am mad at myself and my choices.  I have a feeling like I am going to slide back into my old habits and gain all my weight back.  I am mad at myself, and I am feeling like I used to.  Worthless.

I know that it isn't fair to myself to think that way, but I made it a goal to be honest on this blog.  Not every day/week is going to be good.  I just need a kick in the pants, someone to say, "SUCK IT UP!"  I will get back to work; I just don't want to fail.  I have failed at way too many things in my life, and for once I would like to not fail.

Frustration

Today was one of those days I asked myself why am I doing this.  I started the run way too dehydrated, and my stomach was not happy with me.  At about mile 2, I started getting a wicked blister on the back of my heal.  The running gods were not making this easy on me.  It was hot.  I was in pain.  I did not want to be out there running.

I just wish I can get to the point where I can just run...  I have been doing this 7 months now, and I know I have come a long way, just wish I was doing better.  I guess I have to take the bad days like today to go with the good ones.

Have you ever been running and get a song or mantra stuck in your head?  Today, I sang most of Salt n Pepa's Shoop.  I was surprised I knew as many of the words as I did.  I also had the LMAFO Party Rock Anthem "This is how I'm shuffling" stuck in my head.  Does anyone else do this?  Does it help you?

How do you deal with these bad runs?

Weigh-In Day

So I have been sick most of July, but I was still able to log 62 miles this month!  Woot!  I have gained back some of the weight I lost, partly because I pigged out last week.  My weight as of this morning is 254.8!  Woot woot!

I am right on track to hit my 100 pound goal for the year.  I want to lose a total of 120-130, and I will get there.  Slow and steady, just like my running!  Keep working towards your goal!  You can do it!