Being mentally tough is something I struggle with. I logically know what I need to do, but when the going gets tough, sometimes I stop going. Not all the time. But enough that it is something I need to improve on. If I try to start eating healthy, I might have all intentions on doing well on Monday, but come Friday, ask me how I did. I’ll tell you how I started the week off right, but around Wednesday or Thursday, I fell off the wagon. Then I will make some kind of joke about eating Chinese food. We will have a laugh about how we all love Chinese food, but then when you leave, I feel fat and like a failure, because I wasn’t tough. I gave up, because I wanted to eat the junk more than I wanted to be healthy.
I am not sure how people go to a “dark place” in a workout. I am not as mentally tough as they are. I am not able to suffer through a workout. Sometimes a third of the way through it, I start thinking to myself, “Why the hell am I doing this?" Is that being mentally tough? I see people who love the hard workouts. I want to love the hard workout! Instead of thinking of why this is hard, I want to think about how much this will improve me.
I’ve been trying to lose weight and become better in the gym, but I felt like I wasn’t getting the results that I wanted and needed. I wasn’t losing weight, because I wasn’t eating like I should. I wasn’t hitting my goals in the gym, because I wasn’t eating like I should, and I wasn’t pushing myself to my fullest potential in the workouts. I had to humble myself and ask for help. I personally could not do it on my own; I’ve tried. So I reached out to my friends and coaches for help.
|My "before" photo 11/17/2014|
I’ve started a weight-loss program with Macy. He is one of the owners and coaches of CrossFit Republic and has a lot of experience with nutrition and strength.
His Dad, Scott, is also coaching me on my weight loss. He has recently lost 50+ pounds and looks great! He has struggled with a lot of the same issues I struggle with. I also have my coaches at CrossFit Republic who are going to help me stay on track at the gym and give me little extra credit workouts throughout the week. Joe wrote me the training program for the burpee mile and is always quick to give me some extra things to do.
|Coach Joe and I at Shredfest|
So I put my trust in my coaches and promised myself I will follow the plan they set up for me. I am going to be weighing in twice a week. On Monday and Thursday after work is when I weigh in. This will keep me honest throughout the week. Scott gave me his nutrition guild lines that he used to lose the weight. This is the start of week 2 and when I weighed in on Monday, I was down a total 9 pounds for last week. I always drop weight fast at the start because a lot of it is water weight and just cleaning out all the junk. So far so good. I am going to be posting here to update everyone how it is going. Posting on my blog last time I lost a lot of weight was a huge piece of the puzzle for me, because it was another level
A cool thing that we are doing this time around is we are doing a free meal IF I lose weight that week. The free meal isn’t a free-for-all, eat- everything-in-sight free meal, but I get an extra 1000 calories for one of my meals one day. I can eat that one meal or thing that I have been craving all week. It is also after my weigh in on Monday, so I have to be good throughout the weekend. This is when I am the weakest. So I have motivation to eat healthy and stay on the plan throughout the weekend. Before I would do a free day on Saturdays, and it would turn into free weekend, and I would pretty much undo all my hard work throughout the week.
Macy sent me this quote last night from the movie Rocky Balboa. It struck true to me.
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!" –Rocky Balboa
It feels like at times I keep getting hit, and I feel hopeless. There are days I just want to give up and be fat and eat what I want. I have to keep getting up and keep moving forward for me and for my family. I am worth it, and I have to go out and get it. Sometimes it takes humbling yourself and asking for help, but that is okay! That’s how winning is done.