Friday, August 5, 2011

Life Is Full of Crossroads

Life is full of crossroads. Have you ever felt like you are standing there, looking down all the paths you could take?  How overwhelming it could be!  That is what I am feeling right now.  I know some of these options are things that I am not even going to consider, or if I do, it is only for a split second.  The part that makes me nervous/anxious is what is the best road to take.  The road that will be best for me and my family.  I want to do what is best for them in the long run.  I want to continue to better myself daily and still feel like I have a long way to go.

I still come home from work and just don't want to do anything.  I want to relax, but should I get another job, how can I help my wife, should we sign our kids up for extra activities?  These are things that I need to improve on.  I need to better myself with our money management.  I spent way too much last month on food that I didn't need to go get.  I did, because I was selfish and wanted to eat when I wanted to eat.

Just really feel like I am standing at that crossroads right now, and I want to make the best choice for me and my family.  I want to continue being as healthy as I can and being the best husband/father I can be.  I want to be the support to my family I know I can be.  I know that it involves putting down the remote control and not spending the whole night online.  I am as overwhelmed at the thought as I was when I quit WOW.  Maybe that is telling me something.

Sorry for the rambling of this post.  Just have a lot on my mind.  I want to be the best I can be, and sometimes it hurts to make these realizations.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve.

I have 7 miles planned on Saturday morning.  Then we are going to the fair with the kiddos and my mom.  We will have a good day Saturday.


Lela Rhodes said...

Change is difficult... EVERY DAY of change is difficult even after the change has been made. Food is different from other things in life... if you want to stop watching r rated movies you can throw out all the movies in your collection put parental blocks on your tv and not go to the movies. If you want to stop smoking you can avoid buying them... But you cannot take yourself out of the path of Food. It is essential to our survival we have to have it several times everyday the rest of our lives... And eating can release the same kind of chemicals into our brains as drugs can... So even people who don't think they are, are addicted to food. So if you have to eat its hard not to eat the things you enjoy.... which in turn can make you feel like crap. this is a lesson i am slowly learning. I have been trying to diet (using the eat right for your blood type method) the last 3 weeks and i am starting to learn what foods make me feel crapy but some days i just have a hard time caring about the side affect i KNOW i will have later. You cannot expect to change a life time of habits in only a few months but if that continues to be your focus then eventually you will have less and less desire to do those things that you know you will later regret. You are on a very difficult and inspirational journey it is impressive the progress you are making and shouldn't be too hard on yourself for the occasional slip up... as long as you know you will never give up then you can get through the rough patches and you have a wonderfully supportive wife which can be your #1 asset for success in your journey.... Keep being inspirational!

momof3 @ Neurosis of the Stay at Home Marathoner said...

I got your comment... glad you stoppedd by... seems you & I are in the same place right now... never apologize for venting...

be well.

~savor the run~

Becky said...

Never apologize for your feelings Chris, ever. :)

And I know you are anxious, but you realize where you are now and I think that now that you know where you are, you'll be able to make those decisions without a lot of anxiety.

it's all about pace said...

thanks for sharing your thoughts... one thing I try to do... when I find myself sitting down... get up and go do something.... you are getting there... good luck and have a good weekend

Terzah said...

Hey Chris--I feel I spend too much money on Starbucks stops etc. when that money should be going to, say, my kids' college accounts or something worthier than my bad snacking habits. I know where you are coming from....but nonetheless just based on reading your blog I'm sure you are a great dad and husband.

Your Saturday does sound awesome! The run will set a good tone for your whole day. Enjoy it and the fair.

Candice @ I Have Run said...

It's always nice to know I'm not alone in my constant state off worry. But I've learned life has a way of working itself out. Enjoy your weekend and give yourself a break. Your questions and worries aren't going anywhere =)